It's been a while.

I was taking cymbalta (an anti-depressant) for a year. Now since I quit taking it I find myself on an emotinal roller-coaster. I cry like a girl. And I'm angrier than I've been in a while. I don't know if it's my imagination or not but I can't help but wonder if the drug controlled all my emotions for a year and now that I quit, everything I didn't feel for a year is now coming out.
Including horniness. The last time I felt this horny was when I was pregnant with my baby and my now ex-husband refused to have any form of sex with me because I was too "fat" (I've never been what most people consider fat but since I looked anorexic when we got married it must have seemed fat to him).
What to do with this? What to do?
I signed up for Jenna on dishnetwork, masturbate almost everyday, signed up with a ladies only sex website , joined some adult googlegroups, but none of it takes the place of dick. Not my dildo, not my fingers, not Mr Shower Massage, nothing.
So what's next? And where did my fuck friend go?
Back to fantasizing, I guess.
More to cum.

Confused

Reality--I am having an identity crisis. Am I a cum-slut 'ho, which I think I might want to be? Or am I a good girl?
I want sex. I want more sex than I'm getting. I'm ready to place an ad now or something. I never thought it would be so hard just to find somebody to fuck.
I feel like those people that write into advice columns saying I want to be with someone, I'm attractive, intelligent, blah, blah, blah, but I just can't meet someone.
My problem is I'm not looking for a relationship, I think I'm looking for Mr goodbar. I need to rent that movie. I think that might be me, but doesn't she die at the end? I don't want to die, I just want to get fucked.
I have a fuck-friend, supposedly, but he's not coming thru for me. Literally.
So I have to decide do I want to go out and try to meet someone like-minded, too busy for a real relationship, not wanting to go there, but ready to fuck. And what if he's married, or has a girlfriend, should I have principles about that?
I think once I finally got some dick again after so long without it that I don't want to go back to not having it again. I was like a virgin that didn't know what she was missing. Now I remember. Oh yeah, I like it, deep, hard, fast, inside. Yeah, that's what I want. My toy doesn't do it for me anymore. Even if it does vibrate.
Maybe I'm too picky. I don't feel picky. But maybe I need to broaden my choice of men I flirt with. And get out more.
I still fantasize but not as much. I think I'm ready for the real thing now.
Zoe

Getting Some

Reality-Sorry I've been gone so long. The reason is that after three years of no sex except with myself, I'm now getting some. I've been reading books for years about focusing on your goals, creating true intentions, being clear on what you want, visualizing, etc. It's not that I didn't believe it but I never actually tried it. Seriously. Then I start this blog and lo and behold, I start getting sex. With a totally hot, sexy, stud. So far it's only been a couple of times in the backseat of the car but I'm sure there's more to come. Literally.
Wow! I guess all that visualizing, etc, really works.
However, I haven't stopped fantasizing. Why should I? So when I have a bit more time, there will be more stories to come plus a part two to In The Hills.
Keep On Coming.

PS How's that for a sign off? I'm trying to think of a good one.

Snapshot

Sorry, still working on part two of v guy and me in the hills.

This is c guy and me.

I'm in my bed, the blankets and sheets all tangled, we've been fucking for a while, all hot and sweaty, that wonderful sex smell in the room. I'm on my hands and knees, he's behind me, fucking me from behind. He reaches around and grabs my breast, while I rub my clit, until we both explode in coming.

apologies

Sorry, I got so caught up in missing my chocolate guy that I forgot part two of being in the hills. Next time.

My Chocolate Guy

Reality: I miss my chocolate guy. I've barely seen him in the last few weeks, so this one is for him. One of my favorite fantasies.

My car is having a bit of trouble, since c guy is a mechanic I ask him to come over and look at it for me. I know he doesn't want to put himself in a compromising situation (he doesn't want me to seduce him) but we are friends so he comes over to see what's wrong with my car. I meet him outside when he gets here, wearing my short blue jean skirt and a t-shirt, no bra. I know he's turned on when I don't wear a bra, he thinks my small boobs and big nipples are perfect. He looks under the hood of my car and it's something little and stupid that takes him only a moment to fix. I invite him in for a glass of tea before he leaves.
I'm in the kitchen fixing his tea and he comes up behind me and grabs my ponytail taking out the scrunchie and rubbing his hands thru my hair. I get all tingly inside and start having trouble breathing. I feel flushed. That always happens when he gets near or touches me, no matter where we are. I can feel my panties getting wet just from the way he smells and thinking about fucking him.
He reaches around me and puts one hand up my shirt to feel my breast, the other on my stomach and pulls me back against his hard dick. He's playing with my hard nipples and I'm totallly turned on, already breathing heavy and moaning. I want him inside me so bad that it hurts. I tilt my hips and smoosh my butt against him so I can feel him better. He puts both hands on my breasts and then turns me around.
We start kissing, hot, sweet, tongue, sucking and licking. Now he's moaning, deep in his throat. I want him now, inside. I move down his chest, licking, sucking, nibbling, biting, moaning, my panties soaked. I unzip his pants and take out his hard throbbing dick and put my mouth on it and suck it into my mouth as far as it will go. I love the way it feels, the way it tastes, the way it smells. I want more. I want him inside my wet, pulsing pussy. I can tell he's going to come so I stop. Without saying anything we move to the bedroom. I lay on my back and he lays on top of me, heavy and hard. He reaches down and puts a finger and then two fingers in my pussy and feels how ready I am. Then all at once, he plunges deep inside. I scream, it hurts, it feels good. Oh my word, it feels so good. He starts moving all the way in and then almost all the way out and then all the way in again. It's indescribably delicious, unbelievably amazing. I'm moving in rhythm with him, faster, deeper, harder, and I scream again when I come, my pussy clenching his dick forcing him to come with the pleasure. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. He gets dressed to leave while I wonder what might go wrong with my car next week.

A Drive In The Hills, part one

I pick up my V guy and we go for a drive. We end up in the hills and pull off on a dark road. We get out to look at the stars and feel the cool, fresh air. It's cold, he wraps his arms around me, and then pulls me into his jacket. I put my hands up under his shirt and rub his chest and chest hair. I love the way it feels and I start getting turned on. He smells so good. He puts his hands on the back of my head and runs his fingers thru my hair, tugging, pulling gently, teasing and then he kisses me, deep and long. I want him to fuck me now but I know he'll make me wait until I'm almost begging for it. Seems like I'm always horny for him. I can feel him hard against me and I rub my clit up against his hardness and moan and try to snuggle in closer, smooshing my breasts on his chest. His hand is up my shirt feeling my breast, rubbing my hard nipples between two fingers and then lightly pinching and then smushing his hand flat against my breast. Then he moves one hand down and grabs my ass and pulls me hard against him. I can feel myself soaking my panties I'm ready. I'm ready I say. We crawl in the back of the car, the seats are down and we can lay down and maneuver better. Plus, it's warmer which is good since our clothes are starting to come off. I want to suck on him until he's almost coming. I move down and pull the top of his pants down. (I love exercise clothes and the elastic waist.) I rub my face in the hair on his stomach and then start licking and sucking as I move down. Down past his hips and over to the side, now I'm the one teasing, getting close, licking and sucking, he grabs the back of my head and trys to move me over but I just move down to his thigh and then his other thigh. Teasing, licking, sucking. Then finally take his whole cock in my mouth all at once. I suck hard and move up to the head and then back down as far as I can go. He's too big to take it all in so I wrap my hand around the base and squeeze and lick the head and then lick down the underside and then back up. Taking it all in at once and sucking hard again. He's moaning and running his fingers thru my hair and telling me how good it is. I'm not finished. I lick down his hard cock to his balls and take them in my mouth, first one then the other, then both, licking sucking gently, moaning because he's moaning and it feels good to turn him on. I lick and smoosh my lips down to the sensitive spot just below his balls and then move back up and take his whole hard, dripping with pre-cum cock back into my mouth and suck hard up and down, up and down. He's so turned on he's almost ready to come and I'm so turned on I'm almost ready to let him. But I don't want him to come in my mouth. Not this time. I want, need to feel him inside me, hard and deep. So I move up and straddle him and start to guide him in.
..... To be continued....

I get up in the morning and go to the bathroom and brush my teeth and then crawl back in bed for a few more minutes of rest before I start my day. I'm wearing my xl t-shirt and panties which is what I wear to bed when I'm alone. My V guy comes in and I can tell from the look in his eye what he wants. I say "get in and let's cuddle for a minute". He crawls in behind me, I'm laying partway on my stomach, partway on my side with my butt a little in the air. I can feel his cock, hard as a rock, on my ass. I smooch backward and rub my ass on him and whisper, " Is there something you want?" He doesn't answer, just kisses my shoulder and neck, nibbles and licks, reaches around with his hand and grabs my breast, my nipples already hard, and grinds his hard cock harder against my ass. Now I'm hot and want to get totally naked, fast, I'm already wet and want him deep inside. But I don't move except for squirming and moaning as he massages my breast and rubs my nipples, first one then the other and continues to suck and lick my neck as he grinds against my ass. Finally, he moves his hand down, I'm breathing heavy now and can hardly stand the wait. He parts my lips and rubs two fingers in my wet pussy and then moves his finger up to rub my clit with my pussy juice. Now I'm begging "please, fuck me, come on, I need you, I need you inside me, fuck me now." He takes off his briefs and flips me over on my back and plunges inside. I open up to him and grab his ass so I can force him deeper. But he's stronger than me and holds back just a little as he goes in and then almost all the way out again. He knows what I want but he's teasing me. As he goes in again he leans down and takes my breast in his mouth. "Deeper, harder, please, come on, stop teasing, harder." My boobs are small, he takes the whole breast in and he swirls his tongue around the nipples, first one breast, then the other. Then he comes up and sucks on my neck, licking up to my ear. I'm grabbing his ass and waist trying to drag him in deeper but he just chuckles and keeps teasing me, in almost all the way and then out again. I decide to calm down and go with it and start rubbing his chest, I love his hairy chest, and I lick and suck his nipples and then his neck. He moans and then goes in deeper. I grab his face and start kissing him, sucking on his lips and then his tongue, and then he's sucking on my tongue as he goes in and out, deeper. Now we are both so excited he's plunging in as deep as he can go, holding my hands down, up on his hands, my legs up in the air so he can go deep. Oh yes, oh my god, I'm coming and so is he. I can feel him super hard and big squirting his juice in me and it's so good. He lets go of my hands and we wrap our arms around each other and kiss hard one more time.
Yes, that's the way to wake up in the morning. I would think he agrees.

Getting Started

I'm hoping if I write out these fantasies of my guys that I will be able to get them out of my head. I was thinking the other day I could write a book I fantasize so much and then decided to blog instead. I love my guys and wish one or the other were mine. But they aren't and never will be, which I tell myself everyday. But that doesn't stop my brain from coming up with elaborate scenarios of being with them. Sexually or just spending time together (which actually always ends up sexy anyway).
Sometimes my fantasy is like a short story, one or two scenes. Sometimes it's like a chapter book. Sometimes it's just a snapshot. I've never had a novel length fantasy. I guess because it doesn't take that long to fuck.
Enjoy.

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